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RaSen

Digital Artist
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Okay, wow...>_> Sorry for the lack of updates guys, it's just been....ugh. I'm not going to get into a big spiel, but the gist is (in addition to just being unforgivably slow) I've had hardware issues and at this point I'm not entirely sure when things will be flowing well again. The thing is last September I finally bought a nice laptop and a fancy screen so my color could be more accurate and not even a year later (July to be precise, I was working on comms till then.) my screen died a spectacular death and right now I am stuck with a 45% srgb gamut, awful viewing angles and subpar black levels which means I can't see what I'm doing properly and the colors will display horribly on other people's computers. The sad price of working digital and not being able to use a desktop because of back/eye issues...

I've already tried to order a replacement and had to return it because the company, instead of sending the exact model I ordered sent a 'comparable model' that was in no way comparable to what I actually needed.  (hence the shitty 45% gamut. I found and re-installed my original screen, thank god I remembered I kept it or I would have been out an expensive laptop too.) I've already contacted two other places trying to track it down and both told me, despite listing the model I needed as in stock, it wasn't actually in stock and all they had were the low gamut tn panels in. So right now my hands are tied. Anything I try to do in color looks awful and I can't 'make it look better' on this screen because it will just mess it up on everyone else's.

So for the people on my waiting list...you don't know how sorry I am, but at this point in time I'm not sure when I'll be able to move on properly. Until I can save for a nice external monitor or until track down a replacement and finish the commissions I was in the middle of. In the meantime I MAY open black and white only comms because that's about all I can do at this point and I know 90% of you were down for high res color stuff. I'm just...so sad. I haven't been able to paint in two months and some change and I'm getting rusty. ;o;

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know what was going on. I'm doing my best to get things resolved and trying to get to the rest of my list (If any of you guys are still even remotely interested after this atrocious wait), but my resources are limited. I just wanted to let everyone know what was happening since it's been a long minute since I've said anything.
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Update!

2 min read
Wow, sorry I've been AWOL for so long. Honestly there's just been so much to do and so little time for any of it, struggles and ahhhh. So much so that I actually forgot to post a few of the commissions I've finished as well as a personal piece. They've been done for forever, but my brain just... X_X.

Still working slowly down my comm list. If you're on it and you have an issue with the (currently ridiculous) wait time by all means contact me with questions or cancellations or changes or just...anything, really. I sincerely apologize for the wait but there's not much I can do about it other than say I'm trying my best and I haven't given up. This is exactly why I don't take payment until I'm finished if I can avoid it because life gets in the way all the time, I -know- it's going to, and I don't want you guys to be put out or out a lot of cash when it does. ^_^ Mostly I'm just sorry for the lack of updates. I've been on tumblr more than I've been on here lately because things seemed to die down here so I've only been checking things every now and then. If any of you have a tumblr and need to contact me asap (mrnicholas.tumblr.com)  that's probably a better bet at the moment. Or use my email: e.anra304@yahoo.com

I'll try to post the comms I forgot to post ASAP. I want to thank everyone who's supported me thus far, through all my bullshit wait times and everything. I really really appreciate it.
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Just warning you guys.  I've tried to keep prices low because I know some of you guys can't afford it (and because I'm terrified no one will want them at higher prices. This is my job.) , but it's getting to where I'm just working too much for next to nothing when I factor in hours. I can seriously spend 40hrs + (usually way more than that) on a piece and at what I'm charging currently it's literally like $1 an hour for the cheap ones and like literal cents for  the big pieces. I just can't keep doing that to myself. It's especially taxing realizing that I have at least 10 more commissions on my list all at those prices and I'm almost dreading it because my life is literally just doing them any more. I don't want to stop doing them, but if I keep doing what I'm doing it's just not worth weeks of my life. I need to survive too. :( So, sadly, there is going to be a price hike (when I figure them out) and I hate doing it because it's going to be quite a jump on the Hi-res stuff. That's what's killing me. the low res 1000x1000 or so stuff I can kick out fairly quickly but the big canvases with high detail...I can seriously work all day on them and still not be 10% done. They can take me a month or more because there is so much space to cover on a canvas that size. It's like painting on a regular sized canvas vs a wall for me. Anyway...I just wanted to let you guys know and not just spring it on you. I had considered raising prices on my current list and seeing how many of you would still want them at the higher rate, but part of me feels that would be kind of shitty. I don't know. I don't know what to do. I've always been really torn on my pricing because honestly at least 70% of the stuff I produce I'm not happy with and convinced somehow that I haven't done enough for you guys. I know that's just my anxiety and that all of you were happy, but I wish I could have done better. I don't think I'm good enough to charge high prices, but I recognize that I have to if I'm not going to go insane. I'm seriously just super anxious about all of this and knowing how much work I still have to go before I'm even close to finishing my list. It's exhausting.

To those who've commissioned me before: how much would you have charged for one of my paintings if you had done them? Or how much do you think I should have charged? Lower or higher, it doesn't matter, I just really want your feedback.
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Watch me paint!

1 min read
Nothing super interesting, but I was messing around today and was trying to finally get my recording software to work properly so I can finally make good on those tutorials I've been promising! I got my cursor problem fixed but now I have resolution issues. I'm not sure if it's the software or if the mass drain PS has on my CPU is causing it. Either way both parts of the face are upped to youtube. I'll probably still tweak his face with more lighting before I'm done...or not depending on my mood but there you go. Might at least be marginally interesting for some of you.


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It's because for some reason my anxiety is going through the roof right now and my brain is shutting my responses down. I have so many messages and comments that I really want to respond to and I'm SO ridiculously happy to read them but something is making me really nervous about answering them or I can't seem to get the words out and I start to get overwhelmed. It doesn't make sense and it's not you guys because I love talking to you!!! It's just one of those stupid anxiety things that just happens for no reason. I know a lot of you struggle with it yourself so you know what I'm talking about. It usually doesn't hit me in communication though. I just wanted to let everyone know that if they haven't heard from me that's probably why (or I'm just being completely flighty and 'think' I've already responded.) I just didn't want people to think I was being a dick or anything. I'm so sorry. ;o; I hate that I do this. I just don't know how to make myself change it just yet, but I'm working on it. 
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Sorry I've been MIA by RaSen, journal

Update! by RaSen, journal

Pricing and question for previous commissioners by RaSen, journal

Watch me paint! by RaSen, journal

If I'm not responding to messages... by RaSen, journal